


Traitor

by ninkigi



Category: Clay | Dream- Fandom, Dream SMP - Fandom, Dreamwastaken, Minecraft (Video Game), dream - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Clay | Dream/Reader - Freeform, Dream Smp, Dream/reader - Freeform, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female Protagonist, Female Reader, Female pronouns, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Lemon, Minecraft, POV Female Character, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Smut, Traitor TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), clay| Dreamxreader, dreamwastaken - Freeform, dreamxreader, georgenotfound - Freeform, sapnap - Freeform, x Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:14:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28100754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninkigi/pseuds/ninkigi
Summary: It wasn’t supposed to end like this. You were just going to slip in and slip out, so how’d you end up underneath him?A lil Dream fanfic that deviates from the Dream SMP lore like, a lot.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Reader, Dream x Reader - Relationship
Comments: 129
Kudos: 697





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> The song for this chapter if you enjoy music while reading is “I Found” by Amber Run  
>  Enjoy :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to correlate each chapter with a song (aka the song I listen to while writing it)
> 
> The song for this chapter is “I Found” by Amber Run- very good song.
> 
> Enjoy!!
> 
> \- quick PSA I have not fully edited these so you might stumble upon some grammatical errors :P

It was inevitable. 

That's what the voice in the back of your brain screamed at you as your lungs began to give out in a pitiful attempt to breathe.

Your legs burned, the searing pain drowned out by the voice once again.

You were going to die.

It was your own voice, eliciting the fear within you, coaxing it out of your head into your limbs. 

The falter it caused was all he needed. 

His foot was on your neck as soon as your body hit the ground. He'd flipped you over with speed so inhuman your head couldn't wrap around it.

"Now, what do we have here?" He cooed, his voice dripping with malice. 

It was almost predatory, and if you could see his eyes you were sure they'd be gleaming, the thrill of the hunt evident through his heaving chest. 

He showed no signs of exhaustion, but your fear only tripled as you took note of the way he trembled like a blood hound catching the scent of a fox.

You tried to gasp out your pleads, but you were met only with the spatter of blood down your chin.

Your eyes went wide, and his head tilted back in shock.

"Y/n?" His voice was quieter, concern creeping into his facade at the friendship he once cherished so dearly.

Your betrayal had haunted him, eaten away at his heart at the loss of the one person he never expected.

A coughing fit interrupted his regression into his mind as you tried to turn your body away from him in an attempt to not spit out anymore blood onto his feet.

His foot was gone now, resting next to its other as he stood staring down at you, debating whether or not he should save you.

Every move he made could lead to the end of everything he built, causing him to live in constant turmoil. Protecting the ones he loved was his biggest goal, and he'd do anything to accomplish it. Including killing anyone who went against him.

But could he really kill you? 

The question lingered in the back of his mind.

A threat must not simply be dealt with, it must be eliminated entirely- so why did he feel the need to help you?

You spit out the remaining liquid in your mouth.

"Dream," you rasped. Your eyes were blown wide in terror. Everything had been a misunderstanding, and now you'd die before he could even know that.

You'd faked your betrayal, leaving Dream to join Tommy so you could retrieve the discs, but Dream couldn't know that, nobody could or you risked the imminent execution that would befall upon you. Dream had to hate you for it to seem believable, and judging by the positions you both were in now, you figured you'd done your job pretty well.

He took a stumbling step backwards, a frown overtaking his features behind his mask.

"I can't- I'm not supposed to help you." He argued aloud. 

Your face contorted into a pained smile and you shut your eyes to prevent any tears from falling. They broke through anyways as you muttered out an understanding "I know."

"Gah, fuck." You heard him curse before you felt your body being lifted. 

"If you get blood on me I won't hesitate to kill you." He grumbled, a warm feeling fluttered in your stomach, but you knew all his trust for you was forgotten long ago.

"I'll try not-" your small voice was interrupted by another spatter of blood from your throat, and you moaned in pain, tucking your head into his shoulder.

"Shit." You felt his pace quicken, and as your hearing started to fade out you heard a distant yell of two more men. You felt you body being transferred onto a horse, and then you were out cold.

———————————————

You awoke with a pounding ache in your lungs. Your throat burned, and your tongue still tasted of iron.

You remembered how you got here, you'd tried to sneak back into Dream's land. The plan was to drop off the discs you'd stolen and leave without a trace, but you should've known nobody could escape him.

It was terrifying, how little he seemed to be a human. From his stature to his physical ability, he was a monster. At least, that's what most believed him to be. 

He'd been hunted, ambushed, and challenged, all to no avail.

He reigned over his people firmly, unwavering in his authority, and while some opposed- they could never truly defeat him. 

He'd caught scent of you almost instantly, or that's what it seemed like when he'd known something was off when a seemingly unnoticeable log was nudged slightly out of place on his dusk patrol.

He'd hunted you down as you hid behind a tree, heart clawing it's way out of your chest. 

A hand had ripped you away from your hiding place, and your head reeled as your body hit the ground.

You scrambled upwards, trying desperately to avoid his attacks, but he landed a brutal kick to the center of your torso. You'd folded and a rumble of smooth laughter could be heard as he approached you. 

His hand gripped onto your hair, pulling it so that your head tilted backwards, allowing him to get a good look at your face. 

You watched as his eyes widened, and despair swallowed you as you knew this moment of his hesitation was your only chance to escape. You bolted, your steps unstable as you realized something was wrong within you.

That kick had done more damage than you'd like to admit, usually your body was resilient in battle, but Dream's power defied logic.

That's how you ended up where you were now, strapped down in a medical bed, hooked onto an IV with stitches along the top of your stomach, trailing up your rib cage. 

Internal bleeding and ruptured organs no doubt, how he'd manage to do so much damage in one hit was hard to imagine.

Heavy footsteps from the corridor outside the room you were in alerted you of a visitor. 

You got too nervous to fake asleep, so you stared awkwardly at the door until you met the familiar face of an old friend.

"Sapnap?" You rasped, still calling him by the nickname he'd gone by for as long as you could remember.

"Hey y/n." His voice was soft as he gave you a sympathetic smile.

He took a seat in the chair beside you.

"Sorry about the cuffs, you know how he is."

"It's alright, they're kinda hot." Your voice was choppy and dry, but he laughed at your joke nonetheless.

A sad look marred his features and he let out a pained noise.

"Why'd you do it?" 

Your eyes closed in shame as you took in the pain you'd caused him, caused them all, when you betrayed them with no explanation.

"It's a long story, one I don't think I'll live long enough to tell, but you should know that I never meant to hurt any of you."

"Yeah, well you did a pretty shitty job at not hurting us y/n, you left to help Tommy- what did you expect? That he'd welcome you back with open arms? That he'd forgive you, let alone trust you ever again?" 

"No, I knew he wouldn't, but I didn't help Tommy- it wasn't real."

"W-what?" He seemed taken aback, no doubt expecting you to tell him you'd gotten a greater offer, which he still thought unreasonable seeing as to who you were working under previously.

Just as Dream had no shortage of physical power, he was nowhere near lacking in his wealth.

"I stole the discs, I was going to just drop them off and disappear from all of this afterwards- I know he won't ever forgive me- but I got my ass beat instead." This time you were the one who sighed, leaning back into a thin pillow.

"You're an idiot y/n. Are the discs with you?" 

"Yeah they're in my ba-" your eyes went wide as you panicked, scanning the room.

"What? What’s wrong?" Sapnap rose from his seat to survey the room, suspecting danger.

"My bag- my bag is in the forest where we fought I don't have it, it has the discs in it." The last part came out as a morbid whisper.

You'd fucked up, and you'd surely be paying the price. Those discs were your only source of evidence to prove your innocence, and they were currently sitting in the middle of the woods.

You were fairly sure you'd be able to find their location, but finding the bag wasn't the problem, escaping dream for a second time, however, was.

Then the idea clicked.

"Sapnap you have to help me escape."

"What?!? Y/n you're forgetting I still can't trust you, this will end very poorly for me if I'm just being manipulated."

"There's no way for me to prove it to you, you just have to trust me Sapnap- you, you're the only one who knows how I feel about him, I never meant to hurt him, and I'll leave as soon as I get the discs I just wanted to be helpful for once."

He let out an aggravated sigh as his hands gripped into his hair tightly.

"Fuck, fine- just this once, but if you're lying to me I- I really do have to kill you- that is if Dream doesn't first.

"I know, I’m okay with that.”


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n attempts escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had some descriptions that are a little bit gory- just a fair warning if that kinda stuff bothers you. 
> 
> If not I hope you enjoy! :)
> 
> Song for this chapter is “Way Down We Go” by KALEO

It was late when the door creaked open. Orange light flooded the stone walls around you as Sapnap entered the room with a lantern in his hand. 

It was silent, the guilt that weighed on his shoulders from helping you rendered him speechless, or maybe he just unwilling to acknowledge the woman who he was betraying his best friend for. 

He slipped a key out from his pocket, releasing you from your restraints before dismissing himself without a word. 

Your heart was pounding in fear- you felt it beat in every organ in your body, reminding you of the regret you’d felt on the night you'd left so long ago.

You couldn't sneak through the window, Dream had guards placed all around, watching, waiting for you to attempt escape. 

Your only option was the most idiotic plan you'd ever come up with. 

Walk straight out the front door. 

You made your way through the familiar dark halls of Dream's manor, passing multiple heavy dark oak doors that loomed over your figure in a taunting manner. 

You shivered as your mind convinced you Dream was behind every one, allowing you to think your plan was going to work before he smothered it entirely. 

You paused as a large staircase came into view. This was the moment you needed to rely on yourself. 

You rolled your shoulders, straightening your posture. You took a deep breath- settling into character as you began your slow decent down.

Your steps were quiet against the stone, and you kept your gaze on the massive front doors. Your hand reached downwards, grasping the metal knob. 

"You are, definitely odd." A voice rang out behind you. 

Your eyes blinked widely as you turned to George.

His shoulder was resting lazily against the wall a few yards away from you.

"Uhh-" you felt the cold rush of air against your eyes as they opened in shock.

"George." You nodded at the man in attempted nonchalance.

"You know I'm going to have to tell him right?" 

"I figured as much." Your hands gripped he doorknob tightly, prepared to bolt as soon as he made a move.

"It'll take me about thirty minutes to reach his room,” there was a pause as his words slowly sunk in.

“...and even though I'm not terribly invested in your little game- you should probably start running." 

He shrugged, sliding his hands into his pockets before sauntering off down another dark hall- this manor seemed to be filled with them.

Your body shuddered, releasing the fear that had crept in when George had taunted you, but you were smart enough not to waste time deciphering his momentary kindness. 

George didn't really consider it kindness, because as he heard the doors shut behind you, he knew a mere thirty minutes was not nearly enough of a head start, and he felt a slight bout of pity for his old comrade.

——————————-

You had successfully escaped the large maze-like garden that blocked the entrance- and also, the exit- of the manor. Luckily, you'd memorized its winding paths long ago, but the large garden of hedges and rose bushes was nothing in comparison to the massive stretch of bare land that lay between you and the forest. 

It's not like there were any traps or guards on the two hundred yards of land, but it was the lack of any place to hide whatsoever that made it so dreadful. It was essentially a 200 meter sprint, and you dreaded the inevitable blow of your cover. Not only would the guards spot you, but the man- whose room was situated at the front of his manor- who currently had his light on, signified that he was in fact, in there.

This promised an instant spotting- unless the man plagued by paranoia from the ongoing war didn't check his front window every time instinct told him something was off, and as you knew George would soon reach his room, he might pull back his curtain before even an inkling of unease had entered his mind, screwing you over completely.

Your blood seemed to run as cold as the impending winter snow around you as a second shadow appeared in the room. 

You felt as if you'd stalled at the beginning of a race, your legs going numb as they reset themselves to take off. A panicked noise left your mouth as you turned to run, your strides strong a steady as you ran- focused on pumping your arms in perfect form. 

You knew now was not the time to be a sloppy runner- and even as you felt your stitches rip with every pump of your arms- a panicked flailing of your arms would do you not good, especially while trying to escape.

You almost dove for the darkness of the forest, the thought of the monsters that lurked inside it nothing in comparison to the man who was surely on your trail. 

You tried to control your breathing, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. You reached a shaking hand under your shirt, lightly touching the stitches and crying out as you pressed them a little too hard. You pulled you hand back out, leaning against a tree to collect yourself as you stared down at your blood spotted fingers. You cursed your injuries, knowing you shouldn't be straining your body so soon after a surgery.

You finally regained an unsteady, yet manageable pattern of breathing, but as you turned to see pulled back curtains and a figure outlined by the light of his room, your breath left your body all at once. 

A gust of wind blew against your back as you faced the giant manor, and the thought that he could pick up the scent off your blood on the wind like a wolf tracked a wounded doe, always allowing the wind to hit its face and never its back, so that the doe would remain oblivious to its impending death, crossed your mind.

Maybe it eased your worrisome thoughts that you at the very least already knew the wolf would be tracking you, so you took off again, oblivious to the figure disappearing from his room as the light turned off.

———————-

You'd somehow managed to avoid the path of any of the demons that lurked in the forest, some people speculated they were the remnants of lost souls or dark magic, but nobody really knew where they came from, and nobody cared to investigate- they were too busy trying to survive. 

This included you, as you desperately tried to retrace your steps to where the bag was located. It was your one chance at not being murdered on the spot, and even if you were- you could at least die at peace knowing Dream had gotten the discs and you hadn't completely failed.

There was a crunch near you, and in your hyperaware fervor, your first instinct was to look towards it- and directly into amethyst eyes.

"Oh fuck me." You murmured as a horrific scream erupted from the mangled, dislocated jaw of the ender. 

You could try to run, but you knew the capabilities of the terrifying creature in front of you. 

It was tremendously tall, it's arms seemed to hang out of their sockets, a purple and black mist surrounding the creature as it barreled towards you.

In one of its seemingly limp hands, was a handful of dirt, and you looked towards its feet to see the decaying body of some sort of animal with dirt haphazardly thrown on top of it. 

It pained you as you realized it had only been attempting to construct a grave for the animal, and the crunch you'd heard was the clutch of icy dirt in its hand.

You were one of the believers in the lost souls theory- but that didn't mean you'd let the monster kill you out of pity for it- even if you’d considered it for a just a moment.

You looked around frantically as the screaming creature grew closer. 

A sturdy looking branch lay on the ground a few yards away from you, and you lunged just in time to escape the swipe of it's arm.

A sharp pain ripped through you as your stitches tore once again. 

You heaved the branch upwards and swung as hard as you could at the head of the ender. It's neck seemed to snap, folding into a ninety degree angle and causing you to grimace at the grotesque scene until its head snapped back into place before it rushed at you once again. 

You dropped to the ground, crawling away on your stomach. 

It had lost sight of you in the split second you crawled behind it, and you took this as your chance to scramble behind a tree. 

You chest heaved, but the swirling mixture of sorrow and fear had your thoughts jumbled and unable to settle on one emotion. 

So as your unfocused gaze blinked back into clarity, your brain chose to settle on relief. 

There, about fifty yards away was a black lump on the ground- your bag. 

If you could sneak far enough away from the ender, it would hopefully forget about your presence, and give up on hunting you. 

You peaked around the tree, expecting the creature to still be a ways away. What you were not expecting, however, was to be able to see the black drool dripping from its open maw only a few feet away from you, eyes locked on to your peeping forehead.

You let out a startled yell and stumbled backwards away from your hiding place. A small glance toward the bag was all you took before darting in its direction. You heard the screams advancing on you- hell, you felt the spittle landing on the back of your neck as it flew from the monster’s mouth -but your only focus at that moment was to get to the bag.

A large fist flying into your rib cage made you stumble to your knees, the ender slowing its pace as it advanced towards your exhausted form. 

In a last ditch effort you dodged down on your back when another fist swiped at the open space where your head once was, and immediately after, you swung your foot -putting all your weight into the move as you kicked the ender away from you. 

You grabbed a rock from the abundance of them upon the ground and surged forward towards the recovering monster. With both your hands gripping the sharp stone tightly you reared your arms back over your head and slammed them forwards into the jugular of the ender. 

It let out a gurgled noise of anger.

Before it could react, you repeated the action, slamming your hands back into its face, neck and chest- your arms not nearly built enough to hold the same position and your coordination even worse in your current state. 

As you continued to bludgeon the ender, you let out a string of “I’m so sorry” with every swing of your arms. You felt slightly bad for the creature you were currently murdering, but it would’ve ripped you to shreds if you hadn’t fought back.

You finally felt it go limp beneath you, and you lifted yourself off of it, stepping back to look at the dead figure.

It’s once mangled jaw now lay in the dirt a few feet away from the rest of its body, you shuddered at its now butchered body.

You stepped back again, eyeing the figure oddly.

“Aren’t they supposed to dissape-“ a hoarse screech from the ender interrupted you rhetorical question.

“Ew, ew, ew.” You commented as you tiptoed forward to grab the rock. The ender was immobilized, but you felt obligated to put it out of its misery.

So in one motion you cocked your arm backwards and rocketed the rock directly into its forehead.

The stone hit its target dead center, alerting you of its success with a sickening crunch on impact. 

“Oh my God.” You turned away from the sight and dry heaved at the smell the body emitted as it disintegrated before your eyes. 

Sighing, you lifted your shirt and wiped your cheek, looking down to see a new black stain from the ender’s spit or blood- you didn’t know.

You assumed both, and stuck the tip of your tongue out of your open mouth in disgust. 

Raising your head, you located the bag easily, stumbling over to it and digging through the padded folders within it to make sure the discs were still there and intact.

A sigh of relief released the pressure of worry in your chest and you rose slowly, the stabbing ache of your stitches, and your overwhelming exhaustion finally catching up to you. 

You were determined however, to finish the ender’s task that you’d unfortunately interrupted.

You found the hole, staring down sadly at the animal before whispering hopes of a better afterlife. 

It was only as you got on your knees to push dirt over the animal, that you realized the carcass was that of a doe. Your heart seemed to push its way into your throat, threatening to slip out if you opened your mouth to gasp. 

You tucked your lips inwards, a deep frown settling on your face as you hurriedly pushed dirt over the body. Dread had settled into your chest, keeping your heart in your throat as it expanded within you.

It was almost too symbolic, and that set you on edge. You started to place rocks over the grave, wondering if you’d soon be in the same position as the doe beneath the ground- only you knew nobody would be there to place stones upon your grave.

Turns out you had the right idea, because as soon as you placed the last stone and bowed your head, a mocking voice rang out from behind you.

“What an odd coincidence.”

He was not but ten feet behind you, and the dread you’d been trying to suppress morphed into horror as you turned to face him.

“Tommy?”


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter is “Seven Devils” by Florence + the Machine

"Hello dickhead." He greeted, walking over to your slouched body.

You blankly stared back at him, unamused at his fond greeting.

"Why don't you take a little walk with me." It wasn't a question, and as he towered over you, you really debated listening, until you remembered the growing pain in your stomach.

"Uh, I'd love to, but I can't get up." 

"What are you- oh my God, holy shit what happened to you." His head moved backwards as if he was disgusted by your blood stained shirt. 

Your stitches had been almost completely torn out, and blood was now running freely down your torso.

"I'd offer to put you out of your misery, but I still need you- no matter how annoying you are." 

You gave him a very obviously fake smile, and he shrugged in response.

"Don't look at me like that. You're the one who fucked up. I just came to collect my discs."

"I literally don't have them." You replied, squinting your eyes at him as if his statement was absurd.

"Wha- yes you do, I can see them in your bag."

"These aren't your discs Tommy, I don't even know where those are, these are a completely different set."

"Y/n, my name is on them, you stole the bag they were in and you're holding it right now." 

"This is my bag, they all look the same it's not like we have multiple providers." You curled your lip upwards and furrowed your brows into a look of confusion.

"Listen, dickhead, I came for my discs and I was going to spare you to use later, but if I really have to kill you right now I will."

"With what? Your arms? You have no weapons and I'm also older than you, therefore I am stronger." 

Tommy was an interesting 'villain'- if you could even call him that, but being on different teams meant you were obligated to dislike him. 

You knew he didn't take things one hundred percent seriously, but that also meant people's lives. He really would kill you right now if you tempted him to, but you also knew that you could buy yourself time until the other man that wanted to kill you arrived and while they fought over who gets to kill you, you could escape.

"You think I didn't bring backup? At any moment my friends could pop out of the trees and slaughter you, so I'd watch your tongue you massive bitch, and also I'm much stronger than you... and smarter."

"I prefer dickhead." 

"Oh sorry, you massive dickhead." He corrected genuinely.

"Thank you." You stated sincerely and he nodded once in response.

"Alright, back to the bigger picture- I'm getting bored y/n, so give me the discs and I'll maybe make sure your cell has a proper toilet in it."

"How generous of you! But you're not getting the discs."

"Alright well, I'll just take them from you." 

"Just try and pry em' out of my cold dead fingers... cunt." You threw in the insult last minute, feeling obligated to match his constant onslaught of curses.

"Well it doesn't look like that'll take me very long." He gestured to you, who was currently seated on the ground, hunched over with a steady flow of blood pouring out of your wound.

"You make a good point." You conceded, but simultaneously reached towards your bag behind you and slipped it under your ass.

He gave you bored stare, very easily spotting your very obvious move, and he advanced towards you.

"You have no one on your side now y/n. Did you really expect to make it out of this alive?" His head tilted as he eyed you with an almost- emphasis on almost- pity-filled stare.

"Not particularly-" you sentence was cut off by a thud a few feet away from you.

Your and Tommy's heads snapped towards the sound in sync, and a look of aggravation settled upon Tommy's brows- as a look of relief relaxed yours- when you both spotted the man who'd maneuvered through the trees silently after you.

"Well, she's not necessarily alone." You eyed the familiar dark green cotton of his jacket, and the leather fingerless gloves that he wore to prevent the tearing of his palms when he wielded his axe, and you felt grateful for the impeccable timing of his entrance.

"Dream, buddy ol' pal!" Tommy sauntered towards him, resting his hand upon Dream's shoulder as if they were old drinking buddies.

"Tommy, what are you doing here?" His voice was smooth, a little too calm for the situation at hand, and your eyebrows twitched as you realized he was better prepared than you'd believed.

"I think the real question is how are you going to get rid of me?"

"I think I could do that pretty easily." The green fabric shifted as he took a step forward, the blank stare of his mask tilting as he angled his head tauntingly.

"Woah woah woah big man, Big D- might I say, I know better than anyone I'm no match for you, but I have a few friends," he paused, turning to glance at you and shake a pointed finger in your direction.

"-that could put an end to her at any second." 

Dream's mask followed Tommy's point, his gaze staying on you even as Tommy continued to speak.

"So I think we make a deal! You give me the discs, that the vile woman is sitting on- and I will let said woman live and you can keep her." 

"No, that's bullshit I'm already half dead Dream, it's not worth-" 

He held up a single finger, and your jaw went slack as it aligned perfectly in the center of his mask. 

'Shh' he signaled, as you sat, obediently, on your knees.

You swallowed the sticky spit and blood mixture that had gathered in your mouth, and turned your wide eyes to the ground, ears deafening the sounds around you as you realized he was really going to take the offer- essentially dismissing everything you'd sacrificed to get those discs. 

Gentle hands supporting your back and slipping under your knees had you blinking in confusion.

Surely Dream hadn't cleared all that space to get to you so fast, but as the scent of your own blood lifted and invaded your nose, you let out a low whimper, turning your head towards the person that was now carrying you to escape the scent.

You noticed his white shirt first, and the length of his knotted headband second.

Realization struck you slowly, and you turned again to seek out Dream, who was currently flanked by a bored-looking George, who now held your bag in his grasp. 

As Sapnap carried you out of the forest, you heard a chorus of howls echoing down from the mountains, and you remembered how wolves hunted their prey- how they hunted even the weakest doe- in packs.

It was almost overwhelming as your eyes adjusted to the moonlight outside the forest, only to focus on lines of Dream's allies.

You guessed you could call them his soldiers- as he did lead them given the situation, but the term mercenaries seemed to suit them better.

They eyed you, limp and bloody in Sapnap's arms, and some smiled at you with fond recognition, while others you'd never met before nodded respectfully. 

"Try and stay awake for me y/n okay?" 

You nodded, letting out an incoherent grumble of acknowledgement, and fought to focus on something with your eyes open. 

He carried you over to a pop up medical tent, which had not been anywhere in sight when you'd run across the open field to get to the forest. 

It was odd, maybe Dream had expected his men to get hurt- but other than that you couldn't understand why they'd need it. 

Sapnap ducked into the tent opening, and the medic inside directed him to lay you onto the small cot. 

He obeyed without hesitation, and immediately helped you adjust so that you were comfortable.

"Thank you." You murmured softly, mustering a smile. 

"Anytime, idiot." 

A small puff of air left your nose in a gentle laugh and you shook your head lazily. 

He bid you goodbye and then left the tent, allowing the medic space to take care of you.

He cut off your shirt to flush and clean the stitches before he redid them, and after that was all finished, he wrapped a large tight bandage around your torso multiple times, covering you breasts as well to spare your modesty and allow you comfort.

You thanked him profusely for fixing you up a second time, and he consoled you by reminding you this was in fact his job.

The only thing, however, that you cursed him for- even though you understood it was not at all up to him- was that you must stay awake for a full 24 hours so that your injuries and concussion didn't put you into a coma.

You'd be overwhelmingly bored all alone at night, and you'd be overwhelmingly exhausted in your current condition. 

About thirty minutes after the Doctor left, Dream arrived. 

You frantically sat up as you saw his outline outside of the tent, his stature making it difficult to stand up properly, and you tensed up as he entered, your stitches reminding you of their presence with ever move you made.

The two of you remained still, just staring at each other, and your skin grew hot with nervousness as you wondered what expression he wore under his mask.

You'd never seen his face before, only his two closest friends had- as those were the only people he trusted. It used to eat away at you that the man you'd fallen so easily for, had held you to the same regard as the rest of his loyal mercenaries- and to be honest it still did. 

Your feelings for him had never gone away, you cursed the silly little crush you harbored- for being not so silly or little. You deeply admired him, and the large amount of time you'd spent with him as one of his closest friends- although never close enough- you'd cherished deeply.

Maybe part of the reason you'd went to retrieve the discs was so that he'd notice you, or maybe it was your plan from the start to use them as your confession, and then disappear from his life so you'd never have to face the humiliation of rejection, but that was just a maybe.

Now, you'd have to face him- and come up with a reason that didn't completely humiliate you and make you look stupid.

You could just vouch for loyalty, yeah that could work- you were so devoutly loyal to the cause (however little you understood it) that you felt the need to fight for it. 

"Y/n." He murmured your full name, whereas everyone usually called you by your nickname, and it caught you off guard. 

"Dreamothy." You greeted. 

You didn't know his real name either.

He paused at your shitty joke, but inevitably ignored it. 

His hand lifted, and he dropped the bag at your feet, a disc sliding slightly out of its case at the action.

You blinked, unsure what he was trying to communicate.

"Why?"

You swallowed dryly.

"Why what?"

"You know what." He grew stern, his muffled voice behind the mask gaining an edge to it.

"I left to get the discs, I had to make it believable, so I didn't tell anyone about it that’s the whole story."

"But why'd you do it? Why would you risk so much for them, you've never been personally invested in the war."

"How would you know that?" You spat the words out with an unintentional amount of emotion in them, but by the time you realized it- they were already out of your mouth.

You blinked widely in shock before your eyes began to dart around the room, latching onto anything that wasn't dressed in green, and a man.

"What?" His voice was quiet and confused. He didn't understand where your sudden burst of anger had come from, and he didn't understand why you seemed so hurt all of the sudden.

"Hey," his voice was softer now as he tried to grab your attention, but you continued to avoid his gaze.

"Hey?" You blinked rapidly as a swell of tears rushed through you, holding them back was your only concern even as Dream continued.

You barely registered Dream's few steps forward, and it was a shock to you when he got on his knees in front of the bed and pulled your chin up to face him.

His grip was firm with desperation as he pleaded with you to answer him.

"Y/n please, look at me." He begged, his voice growing quiet. 

You glanced upwards, staring into the dull black dots on his mask that you were supposed to pretend were his eyes. 

"How am I supposed to do that." You snapped. His head retraced an inch, a movement due to surprise from your sudden anger towards him.

"What- what are you talking about? What's wrong with you, why are you mad at me?"

You tried to get your head out of his hand, but he held you still.

"Stop it, I don't want to talk to you." Your hands reached up to grip his forearm.

You were the one begging now. You didn't want to cave in to the soft tone in his voice, you didn't want to lean in to the touch of his hand- even if you knew it was nothing more than a platonic hold.

You didn't want your tears to run and your lips to quiver, but as he urged you once last time to look at him, your shoulders began to shake. 

He noticed almost instantly as the cold hands that were wrapped around his wrist tightened.

"What's wrong?" He pleaded again, lifting his other hand to cup your face. 

You wanted to melt into his touch, his fingers were warm and unsurprisingly smooth- from the gloves he wore to prevent damage.

"I can't tell you." 

"Can't and won't are two completely different things y/n."

You squeezed your eyes shut, unwilling to listen to his valid reasoning. 

"It was... personal."

"Y/n, I can't let you stay here if you can't prove your motives."

You tensed in his hold.

You'd expected this, so why did your blood run cold and your stomach sink into itself when he told you. 

You'd return to a town home owned by Dream if he cast you out of his "guild", and you'd be fine because that's a better option than you ever could've imagined when you'd planned this whole ordeal.

He was letting you off easy, and you were still upset.

"I know." You whispered. It was a phrase you'd been saying a lot recently, yet this time you really regretted it.

His hands dropped from your face, and a moment of heavy silence passed between the two of you. 

You could almost feel his frustration dripping from him, but you were unable to muster the courage to tell him the truth.

He rose from his kneeling position beside you, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly at the tension in the room.

"Well uh, I'll have you moved to the house until you recover, and then when you're healed enough I'll get you a carriage to town.”

He offered you a small, vacant wave of two fingers before he turned and left the tent, and you watched his shadow still for a moment outside and run his hands up his face and into his hair. 

You felt horrible, for causing him trouble and for being a coward, but you were still unable to tell him the truth. 

So within the next couple of weeks -when you were able bodied and almost fully healed- Dream sent someone to inform you the arrival time of your carriage.

You didn't have any bags to pack, as all your clothes were long forgotten at your tent in Tommy's camp, but Sapnap had brought you some of your old clothes from before you'd left the manor. 

You were surprised, to say the least, that Dream had even kept them in the first place.

You hadn't seen him since he left your tent that day, and it made you anxious. You'd probably never see him again after you stepped foot in that carriage.

Trusting yourself to muster enough courage to bid him farewell one last time, you made your way up the biggest of the absurd amount of staircases in the manor.

Following the intricate carpet down a long hallway, and passing many rooms, you finally came to stand in front of a large set of double doors. They rivaled the doors of the entrance with how massive they were, but these were more polished. Preserved from harsh weather and constant use, their varnish hadn't worn at all.

You caught yourself imagining Dream opening these doors every day, his dangerously sharp eyes glancing over the doors to make sure they were still in well enough condition, and you raised your hand to graze one of the carvings- wondering if he'd once done the same.

Sighing, you removed your hand from the door, keeping it raised in preparation to knock, when it suddenly cracked open.

Your heart froze, waiting to come face to face with the man you'd come here to see.

Instead you were met with a different familiar face.

"George?" You we're only a bit surprised, knowing George and Sapnap often accompanied Dream.

"Oh, hey y/n." He didn't seemed all too surprised either, probably expecting you to come looking for Dream.

"Is Dream around by any chance? I just wanted to say goodbye real quick, if not it's fine I still needed to say bye to you too."

He smiled at that last bit, nodding in thanks before motioning his head for you to follow him into the large office.

"He left a few hours ago, busy man and all, but he left me in charge of going over everything with you."

"Oh, cool." You hid your disappointment with a smile, and George allowed you to think it worked.

"Have a seat, I just gotta grab a few papers and then we'll get started."

You hummed in understanding and sat in a large cushioned brown leather chair, the chill of it making you slip your hands under your thighs.

Your gaze wandered around the office as George gathered a few things.

You'd been in here plenty of times, when you'd been one of Dream's allies.

You still considered yourself one, but you knew it was unfair to expect him to do the same. The daily reminder that you'd hurt him stabbed away at your heart like the needle of a sewing machine endlessly. 

George settled down in the identical seat across from you, sorting a few papers and an envelope neatly on the low mahogany table in between the two chairs.

“Alright let’s get started.” He glanced up at you for confirmation and you nodded quickly.

“First, your severance.” He picked up the envelope and reached into it, pulling out a wad of paper currency. 

Shuffling through it quickly as he counted. Your brain struggled to process how quickly he was adding the numbers until he set the last one down in front of you and repeated the total.

You gaped.

“That’s insane, why do I even get a severance when I haven’t even been here?” 

“You may fail to realize it, but Dream is quiet fond of you.” George smiled to himself as he tucked the money away and slid the envelope towards you.

You scoffed.

“Yeah okay, that explains why he couldn’t at least show up to say goodbye.”

George shrugged.

“He‘s busy, and what, am I not good enough for you?”

You rolled your eyes and held in a smile.

“I would’ve preferred a send off from Sapnap to be honest.”

This time he was the one who scoffed.

“Sapnap? I’m by far superior to him, and taller.”

You let out a real laugh at his comment, but didn’t argue. Their height difference was a sensitive subject for him.

“Okay, okay now that we’ve determined I’m the better man, let’s get this finished so I can get rid of you.”

He ignored your glare and picked up the first paper from the small stack.

“Okay, because of your long absence your old town home was transferred to another member, so we had to set you up with a new one. This is the right to ownership, and the address is printed right there.”

You nodded in understanding, remaining quiet to allow him to continue.

“Now this is the tricky part, keep an open mind on this one okay?” He seemed hesitant to relay the information printed on the paper in front of him, but you let out a reassuring hum to encourage him.

“Because of your- odd situation, we can’t exactly leave you unsupervised.”

You frowned, not sure what to expect next.

“It’s difficult, because obviously you brought us the discs, but since we don’t really know why- we can’t determine your full innocence, as you still technically left the guild. So you’ll be living with- a guard of sorts.”

You blinked in shock, but offered no argument.

“Okay, you’re taking this surprisingly well. Anyways, think of him as a roommate, he won’t restrict any activities or errands, but he will have to follow you pretty much everywhere outside of your house.”

“I- alright, I mean that doesn’t sound too bad?” You looked at him for help explaining just how limited this would make you.

“No, no it isn’t. You’ll still have privacy for more, personal things, but he’ll be around all the time, and when he can’t be with you either Sapnap or I will substitute for him.”

“You and Sapnap? Don’t you guys have more important work to be done? And who is this guy- he must be something if he’s chosen over either of you.”

“Sapnap and I will always have time for you.” He winked cheekily and you rolled your eyes in response. 

“And as for your guard, he’s a pretty close ally of Dream’s, but he doesn’t live with us here- he’s more of a working in the shadows type of guy. I’ll take you to meet with him tomorrow.“

“Can I know anything about him? Or is it all confidential?”

George huffed a laugh, shaking his head before slipping a paper forward with an image and some information about the man’s background on it.

“Read up on this tonight.” 

You scanned the paper, raising your eyebrows at the surprisingly attractive image of a man in the corner.

It had everything from his weight, to his birth town and previous occupations, but something was missing.

“Hey George?” You questioned looking up from the page and pointing to the image.

“Hmm?” His eyes followed your finger, a glint passing through them as they settled on the picture.

“What’s his name?”

He chuckled.

“He probably wanted to tell you himself, but you can call him Clay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYSWHBSHDBE!!!!:!:!:!!3!!;
> 
> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT AND WONDERFUL COMMENTS THEY MEAN THE WORLD TO ME 
> 
> Also I am so sorry for slow updates I work on like fifty things at once because I do not know moderation- I can’t guarantee updates will be consistent but I’m trying my best to not make the chapters so short - also I have plans for eventual smut just a warning in advance, but I also don’t plan of making this into a porn without plot story- lots of fluff ahead dw babies
> 
> AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL SO VERY DEARLY


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You arrive at your new home, which was a bit different than you expected, and you finally meet Clay- also a bit different than you expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONGS  
> If you’re somebody who likes the songs-  
> When you see *** play “The Mute” by radical face  
> When you see ***** play “Heavy In Your Arms” by Florence + the Machine  
> ALSO GUYS IM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN THIS CHAPTER  
> I use Wattpad to draft these because AO3 doesn’t exactly save drafts, and I got locked out of my account because I’m not the smartest and never changed my email on it.  
> Anyways I finally got it back, enjoy sexies I tried to make her a bit longer 4u :P

You didn't really know why you were nervous, you just knew that you were.

What if this "Clay" person was a total dickhead? What if he was an absolute creepo?

It consoled you somewhat that Dream and seemingly George and Sapnap trusted him, and maybe also that he was fairly attractive, but that's besides the point.

You were sitting straight up in the carriage, George seated across from you, slumped and apparently asleep.

You were too on edge to rest.

You'd been trying your hardest to forget about Dream completely ignoring your existence- as it had done a great deal of damage to your ego- and were trying to focus on imagining every possible scenario that could go wrong with Clay.

Knocking your head back against the seat, you sighed in frustration. Your hand lifted to move one of the carriage curtains, and you peaked outside at the miles of farmland passing by.

_Wait, farmland?_

You suddenly sat up, blinking rapidly as if what you saw in front of you would disappear at any moment.

The farmlands were on the road- after -the town.

Reaching your foot forward, you nudged George's leg with your own.

"Mm." He grumbled, taking a large inhale of air before opening his eyes.

"George, where are we going?"

His gaze drifted towards the window, as yours remained on him, gauging his reaction.

You noticed the corner of his lip twitch upwards and he shrugged before turning back to you.

"I thought I already told you, he's quite fond of you."

_(Two years ago)_

_"Do you think you'll live here forever?" You mused, splayed over Dream's office chair, head upside down as you watched him in the seat across from you._

_You'd both been bored out of your minds, with no large jobs to be done at the moment, it allowed you all to have some well needed free time._

_"He probably will, Dream's a hermit." Sapnap chided from behind Dream's desk._

_He'd sat himself in the large swiveling chair, and had finally settled down from mocking Dream's uptight work front._

_George was passed out on the wolf hide carpet beneath you, and you reached your hands above your head to mindlessly play with his smooth hair._

_He grumbled in his sleep and you giggled, choking on your spit violently at your odd position._

_You struggled to flip yourself over and Dream sighed as he rose and hauled you upwards, giving your back a few solid pats to ease your cough._

_"Thanks." You looked up at him eyes watery, and he coughed awkwardly before looking away._

_"What? What's wrong?" You turned to Sapnap, confused._

_He only started laughing, spinning in the chair at whatever he deemed so hilarious._

_"What is it?"_

_Dream let out a strangled noise before turning and wiping a large thumb across your bottom lip, where a string of drool had pooled out and slid down your chin in a rather explicit manner._

_Your eyes widened, and you turned to glare at Sapnap, launching yourself out of the chair to go harass him._

_"I'm going to throw you to the witches!" You screamed, climbing halfway onto his chair to get a better angle._

_You pummeled him with random hits, all the while he continued to wheeze out laughter._

_"I don't-" Dream interrupted, causing you both to turn and look at him._

_"-plan to live here forever, I actually have another house near town, but that doesn't mean you two can ruin my furniture, so knock it off."_

_You rolled your eyes, backing off Sapnap and going back to slump down sideways in the chair._

_"What about you, drool face?" Sapnap giggled at his stupid joke, and you pointed out how stupid it was before turning back to Dream._

_"I'll stay as long as you'll have me, but if I ever want to settle down I'd want it to be on a farm."_

_"A farm, really?" Sapnap blanched._

_"Yes, a farm." You snapped before continuing._

_"Nothing huge, just a small piece of land that I could raise a few animals on, I really want horses, and goats, and a cow." You hummed, your eyes closed as you envisioned yourself sitting on your porch at night, admiring the stars as you listened to the chirp of crickets and the occasional shuffle of your animals in the barn._

_"That sounds nice actually." It was George who spoke this time, he'd most likely awoken during your assault on Sapnap, and had been attempting to fall back asleep while listening to your conversation._

_"Yeah, it does." Dream murmured thoughtfully._

_You smiled at him, tilting your head to the side to see if you could pick up on any mannerisms that might convey his mood._

_The slight caress of his thumb against his mask gave away that beneath it, he was also picturing the scene you'd portrayed, and a fond squeeze in your heart caused you to turn your gaze away._

—————————————————-

You smiled sadly at the recollection, shaking your head at George's absurd claim.

"Also, sometime this week Clay will accompany you to a goat ranch, you can pick out a few kids there."

You eyes shot wide in excitement at the prospect of picking out baby goats.

You continued to silently imagine what your new house would look like, and eventually you failed to realize the carriage had stopped with your arrival.

The door was opened for you by the driver, and George gestured a hand forward, politely offering you to step out first with a wink.

You smiled and rolled your eyes, taking his offer as well as the hand of the carriage driver, who offered it to you in assistance.

You stepped down, thanking the driver before squealing in excitement at George.

"This is the coolest ever." You almost screamed at him, pointing excitedly at the cream colored house in front of you.

The barn next to it was newly painted a dark green color and you swooned at its charm.

George smoothly ignored you, sliding past you and heading straight towards the house.

You bounced quickly after him to catch up.

You scanned every inch of the wooden porch beneath your feet, and you got a giddy feeling inside, imagining the ways you could personalize it.

The sound of the door creaking open caught your attention instantly, and you obediently followed behind George as he gave you a tour of the small, yet cozy farmhouse.

"-and the main source of heat in this house is the the fireplace, but the oven also provides a large amount of heat, so long as you have wood or coal you should be perfectly warm in the winter."

You nodded, mentally noting that you'd have to buy an axe soon, as snow had already begun to slowly drift into town.

"Okay, barn time." He clapped his hands together, ushering you out of the house like a mother would their child.

You swooned at the sight of the barn, sure you'd already seen it when you’d arrived, but the color was so rich that you didn't know if you'd ever get over it.

Walking in you noticed four large stalls, and a smaller area for feed and tack.

"This is incredible, was this just built." You were in awe as you admired the wooden support beams holding up the empty hayloft.

You made another mental to buy some bales.

"So when does Clay get here?" You inquired on the short walk back to the house.

"Sometime this week, although I'm not entirely sure what day." He squinted a little, as if trying to remember the important information, but ultimately just shrugged it off.

"What should we do then?"

"We stay put. Clay can take you to get all the stuff you need, that is not my job."

You rolled your eyes, dramatically groaning in protest.

He gave you small glance, unbothered by your excessively low pitched whines.

"There's nothing to do here though." You reasoned.

"Why don't you chop wood. There's an axe in the barn and a bunch of logs behind it."

You perked at the mention of an axe, now you wouldn't have to buy one.

You barely gave him time to finish before you were headed back towards the barn.

The promise of burning wood in your fireplace egged you on. You loved the smell, and you especially loved curling up by it.

Dream used to mock you for resembling a cat when you would lay on the floor in front of his office's large brick fireplace, but you'd only hummed happily in response, drunk in comfort.

You found the axe, grimacing at the rough, splintery texture against you palms. Envy sizzled in your mind as you thought of Dream's gloves.

Then you scolded yourself for thinking of Dream twice in a row. It was embarrassing really, how often you thought of him even after he so blatantly wanted nothing to do with you.

Bitter sorrow settled into your skin as you trudged towards the log pile behind the barn.

Grabbing a cylindrical piece of wood, you set it on the large tree stump that the pile was placed conveniently near. You tapped the center of the log lightly with your axe before swinging it back down to chop the large cylinder in half.

You let out an angry exhale, roughly placing the halved log pieces in a new pile on the other side of the stump, then grabbing another log and repeating your violent swing.

By the time it grew dark, the new pile had greatly surpassed the original one in size, and a sizeable notch had been marked into the stump, where the logs had not been enough to stop the brutal swing of your self loathing.

Only a few logs remained to be chopped, and you finished them up easily -before grabbing as many newly cut pieces as your arms could carry- and trudging back towards the house.

As you stormed through the front door, George spilt some of the tea he was pouring, startled at the loud slam of the door knob against the innocent wall.

He waited a moment, to see where you would go in your angered state, before following shortly after with a tray in his hands.

He watched from the doorway as you threw some logs harshly into the fireplace, he watched as your shoulders slumped and you picked them gently back up and placed them down in an organized arrangement, and he watched as your previously taught shoulders, relaxed into gentle sobs.

You didn't want to cry, but taking your emotional outburst out on the logs, was not enough to satiate the despair you felt.

You heard the clink of porcelain as George placed a tray down on the table behind you.

"You wanna talk about it?" His voice was calm and low, very contrasting of his usual monotone demeanor.

Your eyebrows scrunched together as you tried to figure out how to put your feelings into words.

"I think I really hate myself."

He paused, letting you gather your thoughts before you continued.

"I couldn't even-" you sighed and shook your head in annoyance.

"I, did all of this- just to prove to myself that I was brave. I guess I thought that getting those stupid fucking discs would somehow communicate my feelings for him, and then I'd be able to live in peace knowing I'd at least confessed, but I couldn't even do that. I got caught and I couldn't even tell him why I'd done it. I lied to him, and realized I was never really brave at the same time."

You paused, lifting your head to look at George in desperation.

His eyebrows twitched as he saw the glassy sheen over your eyes.

"I almost died, so many times- just so I wouldn't have to tell him straight to his face. Do you know how fucking crazy that sounds?And to top it all off he knows I'm hiding something, and it just made him hate me more because it really does seem like I was plotting some huge scheme when I'm really just a coward, a fucking idiot- what was I thinking?"

"Y/n," George interrupted your self berating, placing a warm hand on your bowed head.

"I don't think you're a coward, I just think you express things more easily through actions than words. I mean the whole- 'actions speak louder than words' somebody didn't just pull that out of their ass you know, it means something for a reason. Are you crazy for pulling off such life endangering actions- yes one hundred percent- but you've always been weird. Loving someone does not make you an idiot, if anything Dream is the biggest idiot I know- stupid bastard."

He muttered the last sentence under his breath, his eyes unfocusing as he thought deeply about something you were unaware of.

"Alright, don't cry so much it'll give you a headache." He concluded.

You rolled your eyes, wiping your tears with your sleeves.

George eyed your dirty, blistered palms and sighed in annoyance.

"Go upstairs and wash up, I'll take care of the fire so don't worry about it, and the tea will be cooled to your child-like taste by the time you come back down."

You nodded before turning on your heel and speed walking towards and up the stairs. Remembering something, your feet pounded back down the sturdy wooden steps.

George was crouched by the fire when you called his name.

"Hey George?"

"Hm?" His dark eyes turned to you, determination still written across his brows from his attempts to get the fire started.

"Thank you." You gave him a small smile, nodding once awkwardly- not really used to expressing your feelings- before bolting back up the stairs.

You missed his quiet chuckle as he rose from the fire, settling onto a cushioned chair.

After you finished your bath, you changed into a comfortable nightgown and socks- to prevent your toes from the cold of hardwood in winter. You also grabbed a thick, soft blanket and a pillow- from the room George had showed you was yours- and made your way downstairs.

George kept his head buried in his book, but pointed at the tea on the center table for you.

You hummed, thanking him before throwing your blanket on the ground in front of the fire place, adjusting it's edges so they curled inwards, creating some sort of nest for you to sit on.

You lifted the tea cup and drank from it gingerly, enjoying its taste paired with the heat of the fire.

Once you finished, George offered to take your empty cup for you.

You smiled drowsily, handing him the cup before settling down into the nest of blanket you'd made.

It was soft. So soft that it seemed to taunt you into sleep. Your emotional journey throughout the day had taken a toll on your energy, and chopping piles upon piles of logs had set an ache into your shoulders that the heat eased out.

***

Clay arrived sometime deep into the night, George had fallen asleep in his chair, awakening at the creak of the opening door and quickly gathering his few things in order for him to leave, but not before cursing at Clay for coming at such an early hour.

Bidding George goodbye, Clay made his way deeper into the dark house, searching for the stairs.

He eyed the remaining embers of what was once a fire, his eyes so intrigued that he didn't notice the curled up woman on the floor.

He stepped on your ankle, but he was so startled that his first instinct was to not put his full weight down on you, so instead he tumbled forwards, his hands flying out in attempts to not completely crush you.

He landed on his palms, hovering over you, a panicked noise leaving his throat as his wide eyes locked onto your closed ones.

You groaned in confusion, your sleep jostled by the loud thud next to your ear.

Turning over onto your back, you swiped a hand over your eyes before opening them to meet the green ones above you.

"Mm, let me sleep." You rasped out, voice quiet and docile- a rare occurrence.

Clay nodded quickly above you, slowly easing his way up onto his feet.

He watched you for a moment longer as you curled into yourself, frowning in search of the heat you'd fallen asleep next to.

Clay looked around, locating a large fur draped across the back of your couch.

Gently laying it over you, he smiled as you murmured happily at the newfound warmth.

He flopped down on a chair next to you, running his hands over his face, overcome with embarrassment.

In his defense, he was not expecting you to be sleeping on the floor when you had a perfectly comfortable bed upstairs.

He contemplated carrying you upstairs, but figured that once you found out a stranger took the liberty of touching you while you were asleep, you'd be more than uncomfortable.

By the time you stirred awake, Clay was long asleep, passed out in the chair across from you. You faintly remembered seeing his face last night, but you could hardly remember when or how.

It was just before dawn when you got up, and at first you'd been a bit startled to find George had grown significantly larger, and then a bit more startled when you realized it wasn't George.

After tiptoeing to stare intensely at the stranger's face, you came to the conclusion that this was your new body guard.

You grabbed the blanket that someone had tucked over you sometime in the night, and returned the favor to Clay, tucking the corners under his broad shoulders.

Getting ready for the day took you little time, as you didn't have a large selection of clothes to choose from, and after you tidied yourself up, you proceeded to make breakfast for yourself and your new housemate.

You wanted to make a good impression, if you were stuck with this man for however long, you'd at least like to be friends with him.

Luckily there was already a decent variety of food for you to use to your liking, so you settled on apple pastries, as they'd last the whole week- and a more traditional breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast for the man asleep on the chair.

You heard a faint groan from the other room as the scent of bacon wafted throughout the house, and a small laugh came from your lips as he reacted like a dog.

The man seemed to move on autopilot- still half asleep, but hardwired to find the source of cooking meat.

"Good morning, Clay?" You greeted, looking up from the sizzling bacon.

He blinked a few times to ease the sleep from his eyes.

"Good morning." His voice was quiet, still a bit raspy from sleep as it left the shy smile that had formed on his lips.

You laughed lightly at his awkwardness.

"You can sit down if you want, breakfast will be ready soon." You encouraged happily.

"Oh, thanks."

You watched from the corner of your eyes as he struggled to fit on a dainty wooden chair.

You added a new table set to your list of things to pick up.

The two of you ate breakfast in a strained silence, every time you tried to talk to him, he gave you blunt answers if he even responded at all.

You almost would've been discouraged if you didn't have the resolve of amber, and much like the golden tree sap, Clay stuck to your side at all times.

You could tell he was trying to be inconspicuous, pretending to browse your library as you read a book in your favorite chair, or when you'd go out to the barn to start organizing the supplies that had slowly been delivered over the past week for your future animals, he'd meander outside attempting to look intrigued by the yellow grass that had been long dead and overrun by weeds.

Sighing, as you organized the last few leads and halters, for the horses, goats, and single cow you planned to buy, and you started your approach.

"Hey, Clay?" You called out when you were a few yards away.

He turned, somehow not startled even after your silent steps.

He blinked, waiting for you to continue.

"Can we go into town today? There are a few things I need to get."

He nodded, as he usually did when you asked him yes or no questions.

"Alright, I'm going to go change, walking shouldn't take too long."

He nodded again, and waited till you entered the house to follow after you.

He stood stock still at the base of the stairs, patiently waiting for you to come down.

"Alright! I'm ready!" Clay noted your excited tone, turning to look up at you.

You briefly wondered how a man so big could make so little noise, but reminded yourself that it was to expected of a man high standing in Dream's ranks.

The walk to town only took about twenty minutes, and by the time you got there, people were already bustling about.

Clay kept close behind you, gladly holding the bags of the items you bought.

Most of which were fresh produce and grains you planned to cook with throughout the coming weeks.

You were so used to him being directly behind you, you didn’t notice when you got shoved through the crowd and separated from him.

“Oh, this is nice!” You pointed to the table that was painted a pretty cream color, perfectly matching your house’s exterior.

You examined its matching chairs, sitting on them to make sure they were bigger than your ones at home, and when you concluded that your feet barely touched the ground, as well as your hips left extra room on the chair, you decided the table was perfect.

The purchase went smoothly, all you had to do was pay for the table and a delivery fee, the shop owners knew exactly what farm house you were speaking of, as there were only so many newcomers in their small town.

“Thank you very much.” You smiled kindly at the man who’d helped you, turning and exiting the store, expecting Clay to be standing there as he had been at every other stop you’d made.

*****

You blinked in confusion, scanning the area around you to see if you’d missed him, except his large figure was hard to miss, and you could not spot him anywhere.

You were conflicted, unsure whether you should stay out or retrace your steps.

You decided on retracing your steps, if you stayed where he’d last been with you, then Clay could find you and it would be a simple fix.

So you shouldered your way back through the crowd, in attempts to go back to the tailor who you’d bought Clay some fingerless gloves from- unbeknownst you Clay.

Throughout the week you’d seen him training, using old flour sacks as dummies to throw his fists into. You were debating asking him to train you as well, so you could at the very least get back into shape, so you’d bought the gloves as a peace offering.

They’d aid his hands in exchange for him aiding you.

You smiled to yourself, proud of your good idea before hand was suddenly on your shoulder and pulling you out of the crowd and in between two buildings. 

A flicker of worry sprouted through you until you realized you were a trained assassin who was fairly experienced in self defense.

You whipped around to face your attacker, only to find Clay- a very, very angry Clay.

“Woah, what going on-“ you started but were interrupted by his hand over your mouth as he shoved you against a wall.

“Where the fuck were you going?” His tone was accusing, and you took a second to understand that he believed you were trying to escape.

You frowned, pulling his hand off of your mouth.

“I was retracing my steps to get back to the tailor and wait for you, calm down I wasn’t trying to escape.”

“Bullshit, the tailor is the opposite way of where you were headed.”

“What? I- I must’ve gotten turned around I swear I just went to buy a table and I thought you were with me the whole time, as soon as I realized you were gone I tried to go back to wait for you I swear.”

Clay’s eyes narrowed.

“How am I supposed to believe you?” His grip on your shoulder was tight, still pinning you against the wall in an uncomfortable manner.

“You can ask the guy at the furniture store I just bought a fucking table for Christ’s sake. I don’t have any reason to lie to you.”

“The others were right huh? You really do know how to lie.” His eyes bore into yours, almost burning with hatred towards you that felt all too familiar. It unnerved you- to know you’d lost the trust of all your friends, but to have someone you didn’t even know hate you so dearly- only made you realize how much the others must feel the same way.

You whined beneath him, struggling to rip yourself out of his grip.

“I’m not lying to you.” You could barely look into his eyes- the hatred they held made you face things you didn’t want to remember, the feelings of self loathingthat you’d tried so hard to suppress made their way back to the forefront of your conscience.

“Please stop I didn’t lie to you.”

“How am I supposed to believe a traitor.”

You froze in his hold.

You knew you were, but you’d hoped that somebody would at least realize your genuine intentions.

You were sorely mistaken.

“I’ve done nothing but cooperate with you, you fucking asshole, let me go.” You pushed your hands forward, slamming them against his chest.

He tsked, shaking his head before advancing on you again.

Defiantly you stared up at him, unwilling to let him win and take you god knows where after you’d just finally gotten to settle down.

“Is everything alright over here, ma’am?” A burly man stood around the entrance to the small alley.

You glanced up at Clay, who had now backed off and was staring down at you, his expression unreadable.

“Yeah everything’s alright, thank you for your concern sir, I really do appreciate it.”

You smiled convincingly at the man who’d rescued you from more torturous seconds of interrogation.

“Alright, just holler if you need anything.” He glanced up at Clay once more before turning his head to you and nodding in a sincere manner.

Your heart warmed a bit at the kindness of the stranger, only to shrivel as you turned back to Clay.

“We’re going home, if you pull this shit again you’ll be dealt with accordingly.”

You rolled your eyes, marching off in the direction of home even though you knew Clay’s steps could easily overtake yours.

“Pull what shit? I didn’t even do anything you freak.”

He scoffed, catching up to you and pulling your arm towards him so your body would turn to face him.

“Watch the way you speak to me. I outrank you.”

You rolled your eyes, ripping your arm out of his grasp.

“Yeah? Well I don’t work for Dream anymore dumbass, so stop treating me like your subordinate. Here,” you reached into the bag slung across your body, grabbing around in it until you felt the smooth leather.

You threw the gloves at him, and his hand reached up instantly to catch them.

“I got you those stupid fucking gloves so you’d train with me, but now I can see they were just a waste.” You spat the words out at him, frowning as hard as you possibly could without popping a blood vessel.

You’d finally heard the man talk to you, and now you were positive you never wanted to hear it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omfg I realized the spacing on this was weird AFTER I posted it I am so sorry, I used “rich text” instead of “html” because it’s the only way the italics save for me and it spaced it weird :/


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies, animals, drunken confessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I am so sorry for the wait, I have been incredibly busy recently but I tried to make this chapter a bit longer - I thinks it’s around 6500 word which usually only happens when I write smut so feelin a little proud of myself - this chapter includes a little chunk of buying animals which isn’t the most enthralling, but I don’t want to make it all constant drama idk we’ll see how you guys like it
> 
> I’ve actually made a plan though for the rest of this story and I’m assuming there are going to be around five or so more chapters :D

Seething barely described the level of anger you'd risen to. 

You and Clay had made the trek back to your shared house in silence.

From an outside perspective, it must've been quite the sight. A grown woman with a frown permanently etched into her face, and a grown man, staring intensely at her, almost unblinking. 

His face was blank, unyielding in its ability to hide his emotions. Maybe it was because he'd lived so many years behind a mask- that the use of expressions served him no purpose.

You wouldn't have noticed his internal conflict if he'd shouted it in your face anyways, you were too deep in thought, planning out how to express your feelings without leaving anything out. 

You were determined to make Clay realize exactly what he had done wrong, and why it hurt your feelings so much. 

You wanted this next approach to be calm, not a screaming match between the two of you, but you didn't trust your current state enough to say anything. 

Lucky for you, Clay would give you time to think it over. 

Unlucky for you, that time happened to be at 3am, when you were knocked out cold. You'd fallen asleep fairly early, in attempts to escape the pounding headache you'd earned from frowning all day.

A gentle knock on your door wasn't enough to wake you, so when you awoke, Clay was standing awkwardly in your doorway calling you name for you to wake up.

You sat up groggily, squinting your eyes at the figure in front of you.

"Dream?" You murmured, hazy in your fatigue.

Unnoticed by you, he froze in the doorway.

"Ah, no, it's Clay." 

"Oh, sorry come in." 

You sat up slightly, patting the empty space on your bed in front of you.

He sat down, his back stiff with nerves.

"What's wrong?" You whispered, still unable to keep your eyes open.

Clay relaxed at your tone of genuine concern.

"Uh, I wanted to talk about what happened, I couldn't sleep thinking about it." You noticed his embarrassment at the confession, just as he'd noticed how easily you'd fallen asleep.

"Yeah I had to," you yawned in between your words.

"-go to sleep early because I had a headache from thinking too hard."

A soft chuckle left his lips as he stared down at you. 

"Does your head still hurt?" A gentle concern was laced in between his words, and you relaxed, realizing you both wanted to resolve your problems.

"Yeah a little, but we should talk." 

"Here, lay down." He patted his thigh, offering it as a pillow to your head in exchange for the spot he'd taken on your bed.

"You sure?" 

"Positive."

You smiled, curling up and resting your head on his thigh. 

The heat of relaxed muscle under your cheek lulled you further to sleep, but you remembered the important conversation you were about to have and urged yourself awake.

Your mouth opened to speak when Clay's fingers made contact with the side of your head, gently rubbing to ease your headache, a small moan-like gasp escaped your lips. 

Clay coughed in embarrassment, asking you if it was okay if he continued.

"Yes, please." You breathed, your chest deflating as you pressed your cheek further into his lounge-pants clad thigh.

"So uh, today."

You hummed in acknowledgment.

"Yeah, today."

There was a pause, all you could hear was the motion of patterns Clay's fingers were tracing into your hair.

"I'm sorry, for freaking out, and especially for treating you so harshly. I'm just paranoid that I'll lose yo-" he coughed to cover up his last word, luckily for him you were too tired to notice his -almost- confession.

"I'm paranoid that I'll lose my job, if I can't protect you properly."

"You mean keep me in check?" You jabbed quietly.

He sighed.

"You got me there, I'm just confused, I don't know how I'm supposed to trust you, like I- like everyone else did before you..."

"Betrayed everyone? Yeah I know, I wish I could explain it to you, but I barely understand it myself. I'd reassure you that I have no harmful intentions, but I don't know how to do that either."

"We're at a crossroads then?"

"I guess? I don't know, I'd like for us to get along if we're stuck together though, but I don't know how to earn your trust, or your respect."

"Can't you just tell me anything? You don't have to be specific, just any reason that doesn't make you a threat."

Clay was very obviously at war within himself, you assumed it was because he wanted to trust you to make his job easier, and not lose his temper with you, but what you didn't realize was that Clay, or who you'd known for so long as Dream, was torn between wanting to trust you- his long time companion- and being completely and utterly heartbroken at your betrayal. 

He didn't know if he was allowed to forgive you, and without a proper reasoning for why you left, he couldn't figure it out. 

Everybody was on edge around you, knowing you'd retrieved the discs for them, but unsure if you were only a ploy, plotting something more sinister behind a loyal facade.

You exhaled softly.

"I guess, but you're not getting any specifics, so don't ask who I'm talking about- it's humiliating." 

You cringed inwardly, knowing you'd regret opening up to him in the morning.

"I did it because of someone I had- or have, I don't know, feelings for." 

Clay's fingers stilled, and you opened your eyes, turning on your back to look up into his eyes. 

He was shocked into silence.

"I know, it's stupid- but for some reason I thought that getting those discs for him would make my feelings clear and then I could leave in peace, knowing I'd expressed my feelings- or some bullshit like that. Obviously it didn't work the way I'd wanted, and now he- along with everyone else- hates me. I lost everything, but I can't even complain because it was completely my fault."

"Wow." 

"Yeah, wow."

Another moment of silence passed, and your eyes fell closed after staring up at Clay's conflicted face for too long.

You determined that you enjoyed staring, and that Clay was the most beautiful man you'd ever had the pleasure of looking at.

"Clay?" You whispered, on the verge of falling asleep.

"Hm?"

"Don't treat me like a soldier anymore, I lost that title too- it just makes me sad."

He let out a breathy laugh at your playful tone.

"Alright, I won't."

"Thank you, pretty boy." Your last words were barely audible, but Clay's overly enhanced senses caught them anyways.

"What did you sa-" you were out cold, curled into his lap. 

He sighed, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head.

His next words were quiet, as he shifted to get comfortable.

"What have you gotten yourself into, Clay?" 

————————————-

You awoke to your head resting on a foot. 

Sitting up groggily, smacking your lips together to collect the drool that had pooled in your mouth, you realized that somehow in the middle of the night you'd shifted towards the bottom of the bed, wrapping your entire body around Clay's leg. 

Clay began to stir awake as you pushed your chest up with your two arms, squinting in post-deep-sleep confusion.

Clay yawned, looking around before pinpointing you, your legs still wrapped around his upper thigh, and your hair puffed up like a threatened cat as you stared off blankly out the window, your brain taking excessively long to process what time of day it was.

Clay started laughing, not nearly as affected by sleep as you were, and you turned to him with confusion still on your face. 

"Mornin'" you murmured huskily.

A wide smile was etched across Clay's face, as he reached forward to pry your legs off of his own.

You squinted at his hands, that were currently grabbing your ankles and moving them away from his thigh.

Comprehension slowly filtered into your brain, and you blinked rapidly.

"Oh God, I am so sorry." You scrambled off the bed, hitting the ground with a loud thud.

"Holy shit y/n." Clay easily stood from the bed, bending down to help you up. 

"I'm fine, I just tripped." You felt heat spread throughout you in embarrassment.

"Why is it so hot in here." You murmured, as Clay helped you up, your hands gripping his forearms in attempts to steady yourself.

He smiled knowingly, before telling you he was going to get dressed -sparing you from any further humiliation- and that you should get ready too as the two of you had important business to take care of today- business that he would give no hints as to what it was.

You changed quickly, Clay calling to you from downstairs that your ride was here. 

You grabbed two apples on the way out, tossing one to Clay as you stepped into the wagon that would be taking you to your destination.

You enjoyed wagon rides, the open air felt nice on your skin in comparison to a stuffy carriage, plus you were pressed tightly against Clay with the cold weather forcing you to seek out warmth, and the man was basically a walking furnace.

You gave up on nagging Clay fairly quickly, entranced by the fields covered in light layers of snow.

You heard a small crunch next to you, and you turned to see Clay munching on apple slices. 

You frowned in confusion until he held up a small knife, noticing your stare.

For some reason you'd never even considered the efficiency of cutting the apple instead of just ripping into it with your teeth like you usually did, resulting in not the cleanest of hands. Clay was a bit stunned at your admiration for such a simple thing.

Then he saw your puppy-like stare as his hands worked another slice off of the apple. Sighing, he stuck his hand out, the new slice resting between his fingers. 

You smiled, happily obliging by taking the slice and placing your own apple into the palm of his hand.

He gave you an look that read 'are you kidding me' but you waved him off with a single hand.

"We can share." 

You took a bite of the apple slice he'd given you, and happily returned to staring out at the properties you passed.

"Cows.” You murmured semi-enthusiastically, pointing to them as if you hadn't seen a field of cows hundreds of times before.

Clay hummed in agreement, nudging you to take the next apple slice. 

You alternated turns of who got the next slice the whole way there, not a word passed between you, but it was pleasant nonetheless. 

It was normal, and you'd grown to appreciate the second chance you'd been gifted, and every normal moment that came with it. 

"Mm, we're almost there." Clay turned around, pointing past the drivers head to another plot of land with a farmhouse much older than yours, and multiple barns and sheds of equal wear. 

You pulled up to the rusted iron gates of the farm slowly, hopping out and thanking the driver as Clay paid him. 

He tipped his hat, before heading off in the opposite direction.

"A different driver is going to pick us up, seeing as we're going to need a trailer." 

"Why would we need a-"

"Are y'all here for the livestock?" A stout older woman called from the closest shed, throwing a bag of feed down next to her as she made her way towards the two of you.

"Yeah, the names Clay, I stopped by not too long ago."

"Oh right!" Her face lit up as she remembered him.

"You're the handsome one who was lookin for goats and whatnot, I'll bring y'all over to the barn, they like to stay inside now that it's snowin a bit- buncha prisses I tell ya."

You turned to Clay, looking at him in excitement.

"Goats!" You whisper screamed.

"They have cows here too, we can get chickens delivered another time, we still have to build a coop for them though." He scratched the back of his head, already plotting how he was going to design the coop.

"We can get a cow?" You heart was beating so fast you felt like you could hug him, although you'd refrain out of self respect.

"Well, yeah what's the point of living on a farm if you don't have animals. The whole point is to make you want to stay so we can keep an eye on you."

It made enough sense, and you didn't mind the idea of getting new animals when you had the means, and all the time in the world to take care of them.

"I'm going to take advantage of that." You stated sincerely, holding eye contact with Clay.

"I expected as much." You both fell silent, a victorious smile on your face as you followed after the lady into the barn. 

The barn was dark brown, unpainted as the wood wore away from decades of enduring weather.

You could hear the occasional bleats coming from inside, and your stomach fluttered in excitement. 

The woman lead you around to a normal sized door on the side of the barn, opening it and allowing you both inside first.

You cooed at the plethora of goats that awaited you, their kids bouncing around with an abundance of energy that you almost envied.

The woman, whose name you learned was Nancy, explained to you their breed and temperament, and you barely listened, well versed in animal care from your childhood. Clay soaked in every word Nancy spoke, nodding his head and making small comments like 'oh wow' and 'mhm' as she continued to talk his ear off.

It didn't take you long to pick out three of the young females. They weren't newborns, but they were still juvenile- slightly less frail than their younger siblings. 

You moved onto the cows, picking out a solid dairy heffer. Clay helped Nancy's ranch hands load up the animals into a sturdy looking trailer, pulled by two mules. 

While Clay was busy, Nancy led you around to talk about breeding seasons, and how (if you ever wanted) you could bring your new animals back to her farm to be bred for a discounted fee. 

You thanked her, genuinely considering her offer. The two of you wandered aimlessly around her large property as you discussed every possible detail you'd need to know about breeding your pets and the benefits it would have on their milk production. 

As you rounded the corner of her house, a large open pasture caught your eye. 

Around six horses ambled around the closed in field, four of them staying together while two hovered away from the group. 

"What's up with those two?" You questioned, pointing at the pair.

"The two geldings? They're just antisocial, only really like each other, my husband jokes that they've seen things no man could handle, that they're the only two who get the other. Poor guys, I have to sell em though cause they don't like to be around other horses, makes me sad but it is what it is."

You pondered this for a few moments before responding.

"Do you think Clay and I could take them for a ride? If they ride well I'd be more than happy to take them."

Nancy's face lit up in a mixture of relief and gratefulness. 

"You are just heaven sent now aren't you, they ride better than any horse I've rode in all my sixty five years, but you gotta experience it to understand, I'll saddle em up for you." 

"Bareback is fine, especially if we're going to ride them home, I don't have any tack with me." You responded, a feeling of nostalgia running through you as you gazed at the dark black and blue roan coats of the two horses.

You and Dream used to ride quite often, of course you never had a designated horse- the manor had a private stable full of only purebreds, you'd check them out for certain periods of time, and a stable worker would grab you a random horse that needed to be exercised for you to ride. 

You loved all of them dearly regardless, but you'd always wanted your very own.

"If you say so." Nancy shrugged, telling you to go grab Clay while she took the horses out.

You bounded off in the direction of Clay, excitement evident on your face as he spotted you. 

He had just closed the back of the trailer, your unnamed heffer peaking her head over the high wooden door and sniffing the side of his head.

You cackled at the horrified expression that overtook Clay's face, and you had to stop your jog as you bent over in laughter. 

Clay just grumbled in annoyance at your making fun of him. 

Letting out a few smaller giggles, you remembered your purpose for locating him before you trudged over to Clay, grabbing his forearm tightly in your hurried fervor and hauling him back towards the pasture.

"Oh God, what do you want now."

"Uh, well, you see the thing is..." you started awkwardly until you heard Nancy call out to you.

"They're all ready for ya, miss!" 

You watched in slow motion as Clay's eyes rose from your face, to the woman twenty yards behind you, who you knew was no doubt flanked by two horses.

"They're a practical purchase if you think about it, there's even one for you!" 

His eyes flicked downward, they squinted slightly as if he was holding himself back from scolding you. 

You swallowed dryly at the unspoken threat, your eyes wide as they remained locked with his narrowed ones.

Nancy called out to you again, assuming you hadn't heard her the first time, and you praised the woman for giving you a chance to escape.

Turning on your heel, you smiled and made your way to the woman, Clay's steps unnervingly close behind you.

Nancy offered for you to pick your "preferred steed", and you instantly chose the black Morgan.

Clay easily accepted the blue roan, who Nancy had informed you was a Missouri Fox Trotter, both were great breeds for stamina. 

You struggled a bit getting onto the large Morgan, both horses were decently sized, but the lack of a saddle and stirrups made it a bit difficult for you to lug yourself onto the tall gelding.

Suddenly, two large hands were on your waist. You squeaked in surprise as Clay slid you up onto the horse's back, before easily mounting the roan. 

You felt heat rise to your cheeks, but then the image of a certain masked man flashed before your eyes and you felt an odd conflict forming in your chest. 

"Off you go then, there's a decent trail right around the back of the pasture." Nancy chided, ushering you to hurry on your test ride. 

You clicked your tongue, pressing your heel into the Morgan's side, urging him forward as you hands gripped the thick black hair on his mane, all thoughts of the two men leaving your mind as you felt the gentle gait of the animal below you.

Clay followed you, the roan following instruction just as easily to trot along behind you. 

You understood Nancy's praises to the horses when a murder of crows rose from a tree not but ten feet away from you, and neither horse batted an eye. 

"These were definitely battle horses y/n. I hate to agree with you on impulsive, expensive, purchases, but reliability is a rarity in horses that make it out of a battlefield." 

Clay spoke up as you neared the end of the trail, it looped back around to the other side of the pasture, and you could see Nancy standing expectantly near the gate.

His fingers were tracing a multitude of scars that littered the animal's back, most likely results of debris and shrapnel.

"I say we get them, I've already named this big guy Tom." You smiled happily, patting the side of his neck. Tom nickered in response, a signal of agreement in your book. 

"See, he likes it."

Clay glanced down at the animal he was riding. 

"I'll name this one Gravy." He smirked proudly, obviously seeing nothing wrong with his choice.

You blanched, looking at him for a moment, but turning back to face forward when you realized he wasn't joking.

"That's, nice." You laughed quietly to yourself.

"I heard that." He grumbled next to you.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Nancy was elated when you'd told her you'd be taking the horses as well, and she sent you off with the offer of an even bigger breeding discount. 

The ride home was nice, the horses were easy to handle as you rode them slowly behind the wagon. 

You liked how you could watch over the-now sleeping- goats and cow in the wagon from Tom's back.

When you got home, you rode the horses into a large pasture that connected to the side of your barn- easily accessible to let your animals out into.

Unloading the goats, you handed two off to Clay, grabbing one yourself as well as the lead on the cow, leading them all into their designated stalls in the barn.

You nodded proudly at the stalls you'd worked hard to set up properly a few days before. 

A yawn escaped your lips as you watched the young goats curl up in the abundance of straw you'd laid in their stall. 

You’d done the same in almost every stall, your over excitement made you want to spoil them. 

"I'm just gonna get them all fed and then I'll head inside." You stated aloud to no one in particular, but seeing as Clay was standing right next to you he answered.

"Okay, I'm gonna go bathe and change, I feel filthy." He rubbed at his cheek where the cow had licked him and you rolled your eyes.

"Clay, we're assassins, we get blood on our hands for a living, and cow spit is what disgusts you."

He shrugged, turning and heading out of the barn and towards the house.

You breathed out a laugh, before locating the ladder to the hayloft and setting yourself upon it.

When you reached the top, a proud feeling settled into your chest. 

You'd prepared an excessive amount of straw- and hay- bales, and the process of pulling them apart had splayed an enticing patch of the two on the loft floor. 

You debated whether or not to give into your temptation, and ultimately, you did.

You walked around in a circle, flattening the grasses down into a compact bed. 

When you laid down, the makeshift bed was more comfortable than you'd presumed it would be.

It wasn't exactly up to par with your bed in the house, but as you settled down comfortably, you felt your exhaustion urging you to accept the bed as it was and sleep.

So you did, not thinking twice about closing your eyes until your breathing slowed and your consciousness faded into your dreams.

You woke up a few hours later, the barn around you dark and quiet, only the occasional shuffle of an animal in its sleep making any noise. 

You inhaled deeply, the scent of the hay around you an oddly comforting one. 

You eventually managed to lug yourself out of the loft and down the ladder before making your way out to bring the horses in. 

It was a bit later than you would've liked, and you could only blame yourself for sleeping for so long.

You whistled, drawing the attention of the two animals to the opened gate you stood at. 

You'd lead them around a bit before taking them back into the barn. 

Hopping on Tom's back, you allowed Gravy to follow the slow walking pace you'd set.

You smiled at the soft snorts the two horses made as they sniffed around the unfamiliar land.

A light on the front porch made you raise your gaze to find Clay leaning against one of the posts. 

You have him a small wave, and he shook his head with a small smile in response. 

Jogging over to you, he gravitated towards Gravy, patting the horse’s neck. 

"Mind if I join?"

"Not at all." You hummed happily, a warm feeling filling you as he hopped up onto Gravy’s back.

"Thank you for today." You broke the silence that had formed between you ten minutes into the ride.

"There's nothing to thank me for, its my job- and I'm just managing how you spend your own money."

"I guess, it doesn't really feel like my money though, so thank you still."

You could tell from your peripheral that he had turned his head to face you, but you knew if you wanted to be honest with him it would give you more courage if you weren't making eye contact.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked.

There it was.

"I'm so grateful, that I've been given such a lenient punishment, but it feels almost too surreal. I deserve so much worse, and I can't help but feel like it's all going to be taken away at any moment."

You turned to observe his face at your confession, it was blank as per usual.

"And, you. You're going to have to leave eventually, and I'll just get a new guard to be my only company besides the animals, as soon as I get attached to one of you, you'll be gone and it'll start all over again." 

You didn't break your stare on the side of his face, and his eyed shifted thoughtfully.

"I'll probably stick around for a while." 

————————————————————-

Well that was a lie. 

A week later, Clay was gone on some sort of mission, which was unknown how long it would take as he'd already been away from his normal work for far too long.

You'd been kept company by Sapnap, or Nick as he preferred to be called- at least while the two of you went into town, for the past few weeks after Clay had left.

You enjoyed Nick's presence greatly, but you did slightly miss the tall quiet man. 

You'd fallen into a routine the week before he left of going on nightly rides, and waking up at the same time to tend to the animals together. 

You'd even started planning out the chicken coop design, you'd planned to "build" it together- aka Clay does all the work and you get to paint the outside and claim contribution, but his departure was fairly abrupt. 

You'd pinned the design up on a cork board in the barn, leaving it until Clay got back so that the two of you could complete it together. 

"Is there anything fun to do around here?" Nick groaned from beside you, where he was currently splayed on the couch. 

He'd asked the same question almost every day and you heaved an exasperated sigh. 

"I told you, it's a small town, you make your own fun."

"Is there anywhere we can go get drinks, I haven't had alcohol in weeks because of you." 

"I have no need for alcohol when it has no effect on me." You mumbled, flipping the page of the novel resting in your lap.

"You don't need to drag me into your sobriety just because you have the tolerance of a fucking lumberjack."

"Lumberjack my ass! I just have classier taste than your shitty bourbon."

"At least it's gets the job done."

"Get the job done... Nick! You are a genius, I know where we're going tonight." You had a smug smile on your face as you reminisced your favorite bar in town. 

Dream was the only other person you'd gone with, as he never drank at bars with his mask on, which meant when you got absolutely shit faced he was the perfect candidate to take you home, although you could never allow yourself to get completely wasted in fear of making him dislike you.

But you were moving on now, you didn't need to upkeep an image for a man that you hadn't seen in months, he was out of sight and therefore should be out of mind, so you were going to force him out of your mind with alcohol.

Clay crossed your mind for a split second and you wondered why you tried to maintain your image with him, as if he meant anything more to you than a guard. 

————————————————————————-

The walk was ten minutes out of town. You and Nick followed a small, worn down trail into the woods and all the way to the small, well maintained, and brightly lit tavern. 

"The Witch Hut?" Nick questioned as he read the name engraved on a large wooden sign above the tavern door. 

"Mhm, and that-" you pointed to a smaller sign in front of the building, it read 'Tonight's Special, Potion of Weakness'.

"-will get you blackout drunk faster than you can blink."

"Yeah I think I'll pass, I want to actually have fun."

You shrugged.

"Your loss." 

When you walked in, the slight jingle of the bells on the door alerted the bartender of your arrival, the other customers stayed locked in their own conversations, unconcerned with the arrival of you and Nick.

You caught the bartender's eye as she waved her hand rapidly in greeting.

"Minx!" You cheered, sliding into a stool at the bar, Nick following beside you.

"This is Nick." You motioned to the man beside you. 

"Oh?" One of her eyebrows rose in interest, her eyes narrowing as she took in his appearance.

"Off limits, this ones mine." You scooted closer to him, placing your head on his shoulder, mumbling a quiet "go along with it" to which he patted your head awkwardly.

"Tsk, what happened to the one with the mask?" Her tone disappointed at Nick's unavailability.

You coughed in embarrassment and surprise, Nick stifling a laugh beside you while also trying to maintain his role as a jealous lover.

"Sensitive subject? I'll get your drinks started."

"He'll just have bourbon." You chided before she was out of earshot.

"So, you and Dream came here often?" He nudged you arm mockingly and you whacked him over the back of his head. 

"Ow, and what's with the boyfriend cover? Finally making your move on me?" He smirked, slicking his hair back confidently.

"Ew, as if. Remember I told you I'd throw you to the witches, yeah well if you don't want that to happen play along, otherwise they'd be glad to get you drunk and flirt with you until you're completely broke."

"These are the witches you were talking about? I thought you meant like spell casting evil broomstick riders."

"Maybe not spell casting, but whatever they put in these 'potions' of theirs should be qualified as magic."

He nodded in understanding, grumbling something about how he was no fool to get conned with alcohol.

You knew he was right, but teasing him was more satisfying than consoling his ego.

"Alright, the potion for you, and the bourbon for our gentleman." Her tone shifted as a coy smile spread over her face.

You grabbed Nick's hand beneath the booth and intertwined it with your own, lifting the two and shaking them to get Minx's attention.

"Alright, alright I get it." She squinted her eyes at you, and you blew her a kiss in response.

Letting go of his hand, you reached for your drink, swallowing large gulps with zero self control.

"At that rate you'll die before you make it out the front door." Nick chided beside you.

"That's the plan, I haven't had decent alcohol in way too fuckin long." You sighed, tilting your head back into a comfortable position.

The chime of the front door made you tilt your head to the side in curiosity. 

An inexplicable feeling rose inside of you as you saw the familiar beat up white of his mask.

"Nick." Your voice was a whisper as you bowed your head into your crossed arms on the counter. Effectively hiding your face from the man who’d just entered.

"What?" He asked innocently after taking a drink.

"Why is Dream here?" 

His head reared back a bit in confused surprise, obviously unaware his boss had entered the building. 

"Don't let him see me." Nick rolled his eyes at your desperate plea.

You didn't know what you'd say to the man who had so obviously ignored you- ‘obviously’ as in he sent you off to a secluded farm and bought you stuff so that you'd never leave said farm. 

"Hasn't he been avoiding you this whole time, I doubt he'd initiate anything even if he did see you."

Although it hurt a bit, you agreed with the man.

"Yeah you're right." You pouted, turning once more to scout out where the masked one had gone, only to startle halfway out of your seat when he was standing directly behind you.

"What happened to you- oh shit, hey man!" Nick was slightly less shocked than you when he turned around to see the large man behind him.

"I figured you'd be here." His voice held familiarity to it, and you were confused as to why it sounded almost too familiar.

You brushed it off, remembering you'd known the man for quite a while so of course his voice would be familiar.

A twinge of curiosity pricked at your brain as you wondered what he'd sound like without the mask. 

You glanced at Nick, waiting for him to take the lead in the conversation with his boss so that you didn't have to.

"Why are you in town? I thought you were going to be gone for the mission."

"Is Clay with you?" You found yourself speaking before you realized it.

His mask tilted in your direction, a slight silence settling as he stared down at you.

"No, Clay is not with me currently."

He turned back to Nick.

"I had to meet someone in town, and they said they saw you headed here with y/n. I stopped by after I was finished to make sure you were both capable of finding your way home."

"That was nice, thanks, but we're doing fine." 

Your attempt to dismiss him fell on deaf ears as he continued to stand behind the two of you.

"Why did you bring Nick here?" 

You felt a small pang of guilt in your heart, remembering how you had refused to bring anyone other than Dream here. 

Of course everyone else had known it was because of your fond admiration for him, but you'd just told him it was because he had the closest tolerance to your inhuman one. 

"He's the only other person I know who has a half decent tolerance."

"Oh, makes sense. Although I'm still a bit worried that you're both going to exceed your limits."

"I'll take care of her, I don't plan on drinking too much anyways." 

Nick assured, patting your head roughly.

You shot him a glare, about to say something snarky before Minx suddenly came back.

"How are my lady and her gentleman doing?" 

You sputtered, and Dream turned to look at you once more. You avoided his gaze, as did Nick, the two of you turning back to the bar asking for refills, conflicted on which person to tell the truth to.

Dream made the decision for you.

"I see. Well, enjoy your night." His voice was just as emotionless as always, and that seemed to hurt you more. 

He hadn't shown a single inkling of jealousy.

"I'm going to need a lot more refills, Minx." 

Minx watched Dream exit the bar, giving you a knowing glance.

"Yeah, they'll get the job done." 

———————————————————————————

Nick was surprised at how easily you maneuvered on your own while being so utterly drunk. 

He’d already known that you became dangerously honest- and surprisingly affectionate- when wasted, but your coordination on its own was impressive.

You smiled happily at him, raving about how much you appreciated him and had missed him for what he estimated was the fiftieth time in the fifteen minutes you'd been walking.

You clung to his side even though you were perfectly capable of walking on your own.

“I’m so happy I can be your friend again.” You cooed, pressing your cheek into his shoulder. 

“Yeah, yeah me too now let go, we’re home.”

You begrudgingly lifted your eyes to look towards the house, and- to sapnap’s relief- pried yourself off of him when you saw Clay sitting on the porch.

“Clay!” You almost squealed, sprinting towards the porch to get to him.

“Woah, woah slow down.” He reached a hand out, holding your forehead in one hand to slow your momentum as you continued to pump your legs in an attempt to run.

“You were gone for so long.” You groaned, spinning out of his grasp and knocking your forehead into his chest.

He let out a small grunt at the impact and you let out a slurred noise of contentment that could’ve been mistaken for a purr.

“I walked back all on my own.” You stated proudly, looking up at him through half-closed lids.

“Mhm, good girl.” Clay noted from above you.

He gave Sapnap a small nod as the worn out man passed the two of you and headed into the house. 

“So, you and Nick?” 

“What?” 

“Oh uh, Dream told me the two of you were... partners?” He paused at the last word, trying to find the right one for it.

“No. Only at the bar so he won’t get scammed, Dream should know that cause him and I told her the same thing.” 

“Oh, really?”

“Mhm, it was nice to pretend.”

“With Nick? Is, is he the one you told me you had feelings for?”

Clay knew he shouldn’t be using your disoriented state to get information out of you, but he’d tortured countless enemies for much less, so it was easy for him to use your drunken honesty to his advantage. 

“Huh? No, no way... can you keep a secret?” 

Clay noticed your voice became quieter with unease, as you debated whether or not he was trustworthy enough to relay your biggest secret to.

“Yeah, I’d say I’m pretty good at keeping secrets.” He suppressed a wince at the irony.

You made your way over to the cushioned rocking chair you’d purchased for your nightly porch sittings.

You sat down, closing your eyes as you pushed yourself backwards with your toes, the chair starting to rock gently in response.

“No matter how wasted I got in front of him, I never told him how I felt. I know I’m a bit more honest after drinking- everybody makes fun of me for it- but it’s only because it takes away the nerves, I’ve never said something I didn’t want to.” You sighed, a calmness washing over you as you relaxed into the motion of the chair below you.

“The nerves never went away with him though.”

“I’m guessing this is where I ask you who you’re talking about.”

A smile spread across your face at his remark.

“Dream, I’m talking about Dream.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY MINX APPEARANCE?!?   
> Ik she isn’t in the smp but I felt she fit the character so we’re gonna look past that


End file.
